Introduction

Hello all. This is my first post, I'm new to blogging, so please bear with
me. I'm not sure how much I'll post, but I thought it might be interesting in the view of sharing of ideas and their eternal archive on the Internet to have some of my experiences as a submissive searching for The One, failures, near tragedies and comedic experiences as well as my ultimate success in marrying the most incredible woman.

It's not like marriage is easy for anyone, but with D/s it is even more complicated to balance real life growth, angst and pains with "the life", fantasy made flesh. Serving a Goddess has all the drawbacks anyone knowledgable about mythology could imagine. So another aspect of this blog will be the trials and tribulations of serving her, and or experiences not only simply femdom but with subsets of that experience such as chastity, cuckolding, corporal punishment, face sitting and queening among others.

I've had experience with BDSM since the early 90s, serving both professional at first and then lifestyle Dommes. I had to overcome many illusions (many of my own creation) to find happiness and a healthy balance in the lifestyle. I have written published fetish stories, been to conventions, private fetish parties, crossed boundaries I didn't know I had through the power of seduction, dressed famous fetish models backstage, become friends with some legends in the scene, been the personal houseboy of well known Dommes, been a subject in their videos, been an object in their scenes with paying clients, been asked and successfully served Masters of not my sexual orientation, a black hankie on the right side bottom. This was all before I found that elusive one that would take my heart, my mind and my fetish soul.

I truly believe in Female Domination and just wanted to share a general outline of experiences before I became a submissive husband so you can see that my path though not unique may be different from other bloggers.

Miles Davis on Denial

From a Playboy interview with jazz legend Miles Davis, April 1975::

Davis: You can't come, then fight or play. You can't do it. When I get ready to come, I come. But I do not come and play.

Interviewer: Explain that in layman's terms.

Davis: Ask Muhammad Ali. If he comes, he can't fight two minutes. Shit, he couldn't even whip me.

Interviewer: Would you fight Muhammad Ali under those conditions, to prove your point?

Davis: You're goddam right I'd fight him. But he's got to promise to fuck first. If he ain't going to fuck, I ain't going to fight. You give up all your energy when you come. I mean, you give up all of it! So, if you're going to fuck before a gig, how are you going to give something when it's time to hit?

thoughts on chastity

how long is too long?

depends on the person and the training. it took me quite awhile to be able to build up to 3 days of continual tease and denial with no release. i think the bodies natural cycle is about 3 days. 7 days is another tough goal to reach. after about 8 years of chastity training, 17 days to 30 days is now possible and not too long. the longest i've been denied is 3 months. in the beginning of building tollerence though, 3 days is enough to start, with 1 week is a great goal. eventually 2 weeks will be possible. if you can make it that far with your sub, you will notice some very interesting behavioral changes in the second week that are just not possible without at least 7 days of denial.

i would say with chastity training, you can set a goal of time, but really you need to be able to read your sub, especially when pushing these boundaries.

also, i think it is crucial that sexual tension be kept up during denial. masturbation without completion, sex without male orgasmic release, teases and what not.

the feeling of blue balls can be quite painful to the unitiated, it becomes psychological too. i think overcoming the demand that "i wanna come right now' "give it to me now, i am caveman" helps men grow as people. it is a very hard thing to control. so learning control is a challenge but so rewarding, or riding the energy buzz that is creates (riding the lightning, riding the razor) can be both intoxicating and enlightening. i serve a Mistress with a fetish for blue balls, which made me have a fetish for blue balls. the burning pain, like 20 minutes after ball busting, but for hours, is really exciting. when this began, she teased constantly, or multiple times daily to keep that energy up. she used to encourage multiple edgings a day. she could say simply words to me after days of this, or just a laugh, and the pang of the pain was there again. now there is a special blue balling ritual. "a visitation from the angels" she says.

if you check out some concepts on tao, which borrows from the buddhist take on tantra, the idea is not releasing the life force. if you have experience with chastity, then you know that there is a major energy lull, deep restful feeling that lasts a few days after a big release. so if a major performance or major meeting or something you need to be really up for is on your horizon, and you are male, not orgasming really helps. having had lots of sexual tension, teasing, edging and what not adds to that even more. people do all sorts of things to up their energy and health, next to a good diet and good rest i have never seen anything benefit a performance more than good old fashioned blue balling.

on the health side, i would love to see some studies on this. but i would like to assert once again, chastity and tease and denial should not be thought of as negation. what are you, a monk? it amps up the libido and usually means you are getting alot of sexual attention. i don't understand the philosphical block, denial is sexy, it is playing with the sex energy. men benefit enrgy wise and health wise from orgasming less than daily. locking it in the basement and ignoring it should not be on the program.

and as far as erectile disfunction and what not, i would highly recommend stearing away from any cockring based chastity, and i am not too sure about any chastity device that requires a piecing, skin stretches, and i think you do need to be careful with what types of post human devices you plan to use regularly. i think the CB X000 series is dangerous, and can break errections by pressing into the perenium. i am not sure if all females know the errection starts in the prostrate, so it goes way behind the balls, and that crushing of the ring in there when the errection occurs inside these devices could have adverse long term effects. i have met at least one sub who has permanet damage from using the remy tube, and then the CB 2000.

i don't know that any of us here are medical professionals or qualified as to how far is too extreme. I would say monthly emmissions are enough. we always parrot something about orgasming and prostrate cancer. i believe there may be some other causes. our post industrial lifestyle, well, cancer is no stranger here. i have read some statistics that say people who use eastern style toilets, squating, have 90% less prostrate and colon cancer.